How to Combat Imposter Syndrome (From Someone Who Gets It)

Have you ever looked around and thought, “I have no idea what I’m doing”?

Maybe you’ve sat at your desk wondering how you even got the job. Or stared at your kid thinking, “How am I supposed to raise a whole human when I can’t even get through the day without Googling how to cook rice?”

Yeah. Me too.

If you’ve ever said to yourself:

• “I suck at this job.”

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I don’t deserve this award.”

• “Someone else could have done this better.”

…then you’ve probably met imposter syndrome. And I’m right there with you.

I’ve felt that twist in my stomach when someone praises me and I immediately want to correct them—“Oh, it wasn’t a big deal,” or “Honestly, anyone could’ve done it.” I’ve second-guessed myself after meetings, after parenting decisions, after just about anything that requires me to show up and do the thing.

But here’s the truth: you’re not alone. And the fact that you care enough to question your performance probably means you’re doing better than you think.

I’m writing this not because I’ve totally figured it out, but because I’ve found a few things that help. And maybe, just maybe, they can help you too.

So let’s talk about how to fight back against imposter syndrome—and remind ourselves that we actually do belong in the rooms we’re in.

You’re Not Perfect — And That’s Exactly the Point

One of the biggest turning points in my fight against imposter syndrome has been this simple (but not easy) truth:

You’re not perfect. You never will be. And that’s okay.

It sounds obvious, but really think about it for a second.

When we feel like we’re not good enough, it’s usually because we’ve set the bar impossibly high. We expect ourselves to be flawless—to ace every project, parent with endless patience, hit every goal, and do it all without breaking a sweat.

But guess what? The expectation was never perfection. Not from your boss. Not from your kid. Not from your friends. So why is it from you?

Here’s something that helped me shift my mindset:

When you’re being hard on yourself, ask—“Would I expect this from someone I love?”

If your coworker turned in that same piece of work, would you tear it apart?

If your partner got your toddler to try one pea at dinner, would you say, “Well, it wasn’t enough peas”?

No—you’d probably say, “Nice job!”

What seems small or not-good-enough in your own head might actually be something meaningful. But you have to give yourself permission to see it that way.

So here’s the reminder I keep coming back to (and maybe you need it, too):

Set fair expectations for yourself.

The same way you would for someone you care about.

As much as we wish we could be superheroes, they’re just movie characters. We don’t have magical powers. We have limits. We have flaws. And we’re still worthy.

Imposter syndrome loves to whisper, “You should be better.”

But learning to answer back with, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough,”—that’s where the healing starts.

  -Haley Maennche, ACSW